Fading of Family 家族的褪去

Fading of Family 家族的褪去

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The lemon tree in the yard of nursing home 养老院庭院里的芒果树

The lemon tree in the yard of nursing home 养老院庭院里的芒果树

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The Entry of nursing home 养老院门口

The Entry of nursing home 养老院门口

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The leisure room in the nursing home 养老院的娱乐室

The leisure room in the nursing home 养老院的娱乐室

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It used to be the center of gathering 它曾是中心

It used to be the center of gathering 它曾是中心

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Nonexistent backtracking (1)不存在的回溯(1)

Nonexistent backtracking (1)不存在的回溯(1)

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It was all gone,as it told 已逝去,如它所说

It was all gone,as it told 已逝去,如它所说

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So called regret 遗憾之所以为遗憾

So called regret 遗憾之所以为遗憾

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Grandmother's walking stick 外婆的拐杖

Grandmother's walking stick 外婆的拐杖

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Bowls in the cupboard 橱柜里的碗

Bowls in the cupboard 橱柜里的碗

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Fragile junction 脆弱连结

Fragile junction 脆弱连结

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Grandparents'wardrobe 外公外婆的壁橱

Grandparents'wardrobe 外公外婆的壁橱

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About them 关于他们仨

About them 关于他们仨

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Not yet...(1) 尚未...(1)

Not yet...(1) 尚未...(1)

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Not yet...(2) 尚未...(2)

Not yet...(2) 尚未...(2)

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Chemical formula for forgetting 被迫遗忘的化学式

Chemical formula for forgetting 被迫遗忘的化学式

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Nonexistent backtracking (2)不存在的回溯(2)

Nonexistent backtracking (2)不存在的回溯(2)

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Grandmother,mother and me  外婆,妈妈和我

Grandmother,mother and me 外婆,妈妈和我

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Can you hear me answering your request?你能听到我的请求吗?

Can you hear me answering your request?你能听到我的请求吗?

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The room where the dead live is the tomb of the living,逝者之屋,生者之墓

The room where the dead live is the tomb of the living,逝者之屋,生者之墓

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The ghost story 幽灵故事

The ghost story 幽灵故事

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The Cage 记忆的牢笼

The Cage 记忆的牢笼

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Peeping 窥伺

Peeping 窥伺

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Rebuilt 重建

Rebuilt 重建

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A blind eye 视而不见

A blind eye 视而不见

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Reciprocating history 往复的历史

Reciprocating history 往复的历史

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He belongs in the sky 他本属于天空

He belongs in the sky 他本属于天空

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Mystery Horizon 远在天边

Mystery Horizon 远在天边

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A mother, A sister, A daughter 一个母亲,一个姐姐,一个女儿

A mother, A sister, A daughter 一个母亲,一个姐姐,一个女儿

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The signal of a return 探望的信号

The signal of a return 信号

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我的舅舅、外公与外婆三人曾住共同居住。通过与他们的接触,我观察到他们身上共同散发出的脆弱状态。几年间他们三人相继离世。因为各种原因,我没有见到他们三人最后一面。强烈的遗憾与自责,经年累月让我无法释怀亲人离世带来的痛苦。


人对痛苦的逃避是本能反应,但或许直面伤痛,才能帮助自己释怀。直到我开始和朋友们谈起三人离世的事情,才发现大多数人也和我一样用逃避去淡忘亲人离世的伤痛。

莫里斯梅特林克在《青鸟》中提到一个关于死亡的观点:有的人虽然已经故去,但只要有人还在怀念他,他就还会像从前一样幸福地活着。至此我开始思考,对待亲人,应是怀念与铭记,而不是忘却。于是我不想再逃避。之后,我便开始频繁地走访他们生前最后出现的地方,和家人更多地去谈论他们三人,找寻他们存在过的痕迹,捕捉曾被我忽略的事情。最终,那些被找回的痕迹和感受,成为了他们三人对我的羁绊。这些羁绊最终将会变成他们存在于我的世界里的暗涌,持续地流动下去。

My uncle, grandfather and grandmother used to live together. Through my contact with them, I observed the collective vulnerability that emanated from them. All three died within a few years of each other. For various reasons, I did not see the three of them last. Intense regret and self-reproach have kept me from letting go of the pain caused by the death of my loved one for years.

It's a natural reaction to run away from pain, but maybe confronting it can help you move on. It wasn't until I started talking to my friends about three deaths that I realized that most of them, like me, were trying to escape their loss.

Maurice Maeterlinck mentioned a point of view about death in the Blue Bird: although some people have passed away, as long as someone still remembers him, he will still be as happy as before. So I began to think, treat relatives, should be remembered and remember, rather than forget. So I don't want to run away. After that, I began to visit the places where they were last seen, and talked more about them with my family members, looking for traces of their existence and capturing things that I had neglected. In the end, the traces and feelings of being retrieved became the fetters of all three of them. These fetters will eventually become dark surges of their presence in my world, flowing on and on.
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